11 Lies About Happiness You Should Know
From You, Happier by Daniel G. Amen, MD.
Hi, I’m Irene. Welcome back to The Happiness Diary. ✨
I had a fantastic week! I:
Read
Got a massage
Went for walks
Played the piano and sang
Wrote this week’s newsletter
Spent time at the park with my partner
Finished all my tasks during work hours
Went to the gym three times before work
Communicated my needs clearly with my team instead of feeling overwhelmed
Studied Justin Welsh’s LinkedIn OS course and Happiness Life Coach Certification
Moral of the story?
Find out what brings you happiness (and why), and make space for those healthy habits regularly. 🤗
How was your week? As always, feel free to respond to this email and let me know. I read and respond to every single reply. 😊
Now, onto this week’s edition!
11 Lies About Happiness You Should Know
I just finished Chapter 1 of You, Happier by Daniel G. Amen, MD.
Here are the 11 lies about happiness you should know according to Dr. Amen:
Lie #1 — More of something (love, fame, sex, drugs, etc.) will make you happy.
The more pleasure you get, the more you will need it to continue to make you happy. Because your brain adapts. This leaves you wanting more each time like an addiction. And this endless cycle leaves you unhappy.
What to do instead: Be grateful for what you have. Avoid the desire for more.Lie #2 — A “don’t worry, be happy” mindset will make you happy.
According to one of the longest longevity studies ever published, the “don’t worry, be happy people” die early from accidents and preventable illnesses. The truth is, you need some anxiety to be happy. Because appropriate anxiety helps us make better decisions.
What to do instead: Be okay with some anxiety—it helps you think clearly. Calm yourself with deep breaths, and create simple plans to ease your stress.Lie #3 — Advertisers and fast-food companies know what will make you happy.
They don’t. For example, fast food like McDonald's Happy Meals is packed with low-quality ingredients that harm your health and mood. Fun fact: Dr. Amen says you should call them Unhappy Meals. 🤣
What to do instead: Focus on eating real, nutritious food like fruits and vegetables. Make your own meals so you know what’s in them. Save fast food for special occasions.Lie #4 — Being somewhere else will make you happy.
Moving to a new place won’t bring lasting happiness. I’ve tried it—moving from city to city, country to country—but happiness never came from changing locations.
What to do instead: Find happiness right where you are. Make friends, do things you enjoy, and focus on creating a positive mindset no matter where you live or your current life situation.Lie #5 — You need a smartphone, watch, tablet, or the latest technology to make you happy.
Technology is addicting. They grab your attention and distract you from more important things like family, friends, and fitness. In fact, current research has found that many teens spend more hours on social media (average 9 hours) than they do sleeping!
What to do instead: Limit your screen time. Spend time connecting with loved ones or doing tech-free activities like reading or playing outside.Lie #6 — Video games make you happy.
Too much gaming can lead to depression and obesity. The World Health Organization even added gaming disorder to the ICD-11 (International Classification of Diseases) in 2018.
What to do instead: Play games in moderation. Balance them with other activities like sports, art, or spending time outdoors.Lie #7 — Constantly being ‘in the know’ by following your favourite news outlet will make you happy.
News outlets repeatedly and purposely pour toxic thoughts into your brain. They always highlight scandalous and terrifying stories to keep you hooked on their channels and websites. But, research shows even just a few minutes of negative news in the morning can lower your happiness later in the day by 27%.
What to do instead: Don’t start your day by looking at bad news! Instead, tell yourself ‘Today is going to be a great day.’ Recite positive affirmations. Listen to something positive. Lie #8 — Alcohol makes you happy.
Alcohol can help make you feel better quickly. But it also damages your brain, decreases the quality of your decisions, and harms your relationships.
What to do instead: Spend time with friends and family doing things that don’t need alcohol. Choose activities that help you feel happy for a long time—I like going to the gym, playing the piano, singing, and lately, playing with polymer clay. If you do drink, drink less!Lie #9 — Marijuana makes you happy.
Maybe in the short run. But over time, it prematurely ages your brain and lowers overall blood flow.
What to do instead: Relax by doing yoga, stretching, going for a walk, or writing in a journal when you’re feeling stressed. Lie #10 — Sweet treats and desserts—any sugar—makes you happy.
Sweets give you a brief moment of bliss. But it does not give you long-term happiness. In fact, sugar is addictive. And it’s associated with depression, obesity, diabetes, and dementia.
What do to instead: When you want something sweet, try eating fruit. My favourite go-tos are mangoes and watermelon. If you do eat sweets, have them in moderation. Pay attention while you eat and enjoy each bite but don’t overeat!Lie #11 — Money makes you happy.
This is true, but only up to about $75,000 a year in the US. Then the relationship falls off. Simply put, money can change your circumstances to a certain point. But it doesn’t help much once you have your basic needs met. The one caveat is that more money can contribute to happiness if you use it for causes and people that matter to you.
What to do instead: Make sure you have, save, and invest money to cover your basic needs. Share your money by giving to people or causes that matter to you. Buy experiences—take a trip, go to a concert, attend a DIY class—with family and friends instead of buying things at the mall or online. 3 Things Bringing Me Happiness This Week
You, Happier: The 7 Neuroscience Secrets of Feeling Good Based on Your Brain Type by Daniel G. Amen, MD — In You, Happier, Dr. Amen explains and offers practical, science-based strategies for optimizing your happiness.
Capybara — Lately, I’ve been seeing Capybara everywhere! They’re too cute. 😭
A few of my clay creations — The creation process was exciting, frustrating, and messy! But seeing the results made the process worthwhile. 😊 (I think my partner needs to replace his toothbrush. 🤣)
Before You Go
Thank you so much for being here!
If you have a minute, I’d love for you to respond to this poll:
And for you to respond to this email to let me know:
Your biggest challenge
Your biggest struggle right now
I’d really appreciate it if you could reply because it helps me understand what you’re interested in learning more about and to make sure what I write is helpful and valuable for you.
I read every single reply. 😊
I’ll see you next Sunday,
Irene
I need morning runs to make me happy. That's the best thing to boost my positivity for the day ahead.