The Most Effective Way to Practice Gratitude to Live Happier
It’s NOT writing down 3 things you’re grateful for every day.
👋 Hi, I’m Irene! Welcome to The Happiness Diary Entry 2.
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Without further ado, let’s dive into today’s topic: Gratitude.
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
You Don’t Have the Propensity for Happiness
In the words of Sigmund Freud:
“Our possibilities of happiness are already restricted by our constitution. Unhappiness is much less difficult to experience.”
Simply put, you aren’t wired to have happiness easily.
This is why you need to have a gratitude practice. You need to do certain things to help you feel grateful, good, and happy.
So, how can you start to practice gratitude?
1. The Most Pervasive Method
Most gratitude practices tell you to think about. Recite. Or write down x number of things you’re grateful for. I’ve been doing this since 2020.
But I recently learned this style of practicing gratitude is not that effective.
With this said, I still like writing down 3 things I’m grateful for every day because I feel it trains my brain to be creative and opportunistic.
If you do want to use this method, you can make it more effective by taking a cold bath, chanting, or breathing deeply before thinking about, reciting, or writing down the things you’re grateful for.
You can do this in the morning, evening, or any time that works best for you.
2. The Most Effective Gratitude Practice
There are 5 steps.
Find or think of a story you’ve heard in its entirety.
It can be a story where you are receiving genuine thanks. Or a story where you are observing someone else receiving or expressing genuine thanks.
Write down key elements of the story - How you felt before. During. And after receiving gratitude or watching someone else receive or express it.
Read what you wrote for about 1-5 minutes.
Use the same story every time you practice gratitude. Just read your bulleted notes. Do this 3x a week. Either when you first wake up in the morning, right before you go to sleep, or any time of day.
Andrew Huberman created this method. I definitely recommend watching his video to learn more about the science of gratitude!
3. The Feel-Good Method
I’ve volunteered at:
A senior home
Blood donation centre
Summer camps in Europe
What did I learn from these experiences?
Volunteering broadens your world. It lets you zoom out from your narrow perspective of life.
And it exposes you to other people’s suffering. This in turn minimizes your own pain and you learn to appreciate what you have.
At the same time, you get to experience the feel-good feelings that come with helping others.
So pick a cause you’re passionate about. Dedicate time for it either weekly, monthly, quarterly, or yearly.
Then, be present. And immerse yourself in the feelings you get from volunteering.
Today’s Action Steps
1. Give These Methods a Try
Though we talked about what is and isn’t an effective gratitude practice, in the end, the one that’s most effective is the one you (actually) use. And the one you’re consistent with.
So experiment. See which method works for you. Or even better, do all three. 😉
Try them out. Feel free to share your experiences with me. 🤗
2. Use Your Power
You have the power to change someone else’s neurology when you express your appreciation for them. You have the power to help them feel happy and grateful.
So I’d like you to write a letter of gratitude to someone. It can be a handwritten note. A text message. Or a voice message.
Thank someone in explicit detail for how they’ve helped you. Mention what they did. How it helped. And how you felt afterwards.
Let us spread gratitude and happiness together.
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