If You Want to Be Happy, You Need to Focus On Yourself First

Read This If You Feel Jealous

👋 Hi, I’m Irene!

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Read Time: 2.52 minutes

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I get it. 

You see someone doing better than you — more progress on Medium, more fit, making more money — and you can’t help but feel jealous. 

You think, “Why them? Why not me? What do they have that I don’t? What are they doing that I’m not? It’s not fair.” 

Sound familiar? I’ve been in the exact boat. 

Here are 3 simple strategies I’ve been using to feel less envious of others. 

This is how you attract success and abundance into your life

I started writing online in 2017. 

But I *seriously* started in August 2023. 

Since then, I’ve battled with jealousy every day. It’s hard not to when you see writers who started before, at the same time, and even after you make more progress. 

As a result, I’ve learned three lessons about jealousy. 

One, it’s normal to feel jealous. There’ve been countless times when I cried to my boyfriend asking him if I was an awful person for having these feelings. Newsflash: You’re not. Don’t berate yourself or think you’re an awful person. You’re human. 

Two, you can’t eliminate jealousy. The green-eyed monster will never disappear but you can learn to manage it. 

And last, shift your mindset from scarcity to abundance. You feel jealous because you believe if someone has or does what you desire, it’s somehow unattainable for you. This isn’t true. Believe there’s enough success and abundance for everyone. 

That’s how you’ll attract more of both into your life. 

Use it as a catalyst for growth

Most people let jealousy fester in their lives. 

Don’t do this—it destroys your self-love and ruins your relationships. 

Instead, use your jealousy to guide you toward the life you want. Recognize it as a signal that shows your desires and ambitions. 

In the past, I’d stay jealous of other writers for days. But now? I use my jealousy as a catalyst for growth. 

Instead of dwelling on envy, I dissect their headlines, hooks, subheadings, and writing style. 

This is how I’ve (slowly) nipped jealousy in the bud. 

Reflect on your triggers. Who sparks jealousy in you? Why? How can you emulate it in your own life? 

For example, if you’re jealous of a fitness influencer because she has a six-pack, move your body and eat well. If you’re jealous of a travel influencer, plan local trips with your partner. If you’re jealous someone you know from high school has more of a social life than you, make plans with your friends. 

Pay attention to your jealousy. Use it to build the life you want. 

Don’t forget to do this

Celebrating other people’s success will never dampen yours. 

In fact, you signal to the world that you want more of it in your life when you genuinely congratulate others on theirs. 

This is why I support my fellow writers by clapping their Medium articles, reacting to their LinkedIn posts, or liking their Substack newsletters. 

Also, don’t forget to celebrate your wins—no matter how small. 

It gives you the momentum to keep going, even when you feel like you’re not progressing. 

Final Thoughts

If you want to be happy:

• Shift your mindset from scarcity to abundance

• Use your jealousy to show and create the life you want

• Celebrate your small wins for momentum and other people’s success

This is the formula to transform jealousy into happiness.

Before You Go

Thank you so much for reading today’s entry! 

I’d love for you to respond to this email to let me know:

• Your biggest takeaway

• Your biggest challenge

• Your biggest struggle right now

I’d really appreciate it if you could reply because it helps me understand what you’re interested in learning more about and to make sure what I write is helpful and valuable for you. I read every single reply. 😊

With all my love,

Irene

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